Bad Golfer Theory

Living with a golf course out our back garden is lovely. We have a great view of the first hole. It’s dark at night so no lights shining in our bedroom windows and it’s a grand view without houses interrupting it. The added advantage being there are always some small groups of people moving about and golfing and they are quite interesting to watch. We don’t play golf but we have learned a lot by just watching the golfers.

Throughout the late autumn and winter, there is always someone on the course during the day. In the rain, in the sleet, in the cold and in the frost, there are golfers. The only days when the golf course has been empty has been when it was covered by snow and once the snow was off the fairways, the golfers returned.

When we moved into our rental home, we found several golf balls in the garden. Usually we were finding one golf ball about every 2 weeks. Once the weather got really cold, we stopped finding golf balls even though we could still see the golfers moving through the course and “aiming” towards the house. As we are not golfers, as previously stated, we don’t understand the passion or desire or interest that drives golfers to go out and walk around on a cold or wet day. But we have come up with a theory, the Bad Golfers Theory. This is solely based on the number of golf balls we find in our garden.

The theory goes like this: Only good golfers are willing to spend the time and money in inclement weather therefore bad golfers are more likely to be “fair weather golfers”. Hence, we will only find golf balls in our garden when the bad golfers are on the course. In other words, only the bad golfers slice, hook, throw, drive, putt, or whatever, badly enough to have a golf ball end up in our garden. And since we found no golf balls throughout the winter and into the spring, no bad golfers are on the course during that time because they don’t like the sport well enough to wander around in the cold and wet.

This week, as always, there have been plenty of golfers on the course and the days have been fairly nice and lovely. I found three golf balls this week!


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