The Slimy Rule

Normally I stick with the slimy rule for food.  Anything slimy in the food category, be it veggies, fruit, meat, etc, automatically goes to the smell test, albeit rather cautiously, and then is trashed, binned, garbaged, exited from the area.  This rule has worked well for us over the years and probably kept us from getting any manner of nasty food related illnesses.  (YES, some foods are actually meant to be slimy but we don’t like most of them, e.g. durian)

This morning, for some reason I ignored the slimy rule.  My thinking was:  This is a brand new package of streaky bacon, I’ve just gotten it out of the freezer as of yesterday, I am opening it for the first time today, why would it be slimy????  But it was.  I went to the smell test as that’s automatic and not even necessary of thought.  It really smelled OK.  Nothing rank, nothing “OMG”, nothing “PHEW” so I cooked a couple of strips for myself and a couple for my husband.

Another clue – it was exactly the same type of streaky bacon that I had cooked two days before but it didn’t crisp up and get brown nicely.  Still, no matter how many times I get British streaky bacon, it does something different in my pan almost every time so I ignored that warning as well.

Plated our breakfasts (notice how nicely I referred to putting our food on the plates?) and set them on the table.  In a few minutes, hubby comes downstairs ready for breakfast and ready for work.  By now, I was deep into a Sudoku puzzle and it took me a few minutes to look up and speak to him.  By then, he had already taken a big bite of the bacon and had moved on to toast.  I told him it had been slimy and he goes “thanks for warning me!”   But as he didn’t say anything else, I took a bite of mine too and swallowed it down.

In a few minutes, I noticed he was looking rather grim and concentrating rather fiercely on whatever was in his mouth.  So I asked “what’s up” and he replies, “this bacon has a really weird taste.  You should have stuck to the slimy rule.”  Oh great, just great.  Now we both are waiting for our stomachs to explode today and I have to say that I think mine just did.  gulp.  I am NEVER ignoring the slimy rule again!!!  NEVER, EVER.  Slimy is bad, slimy is evil, slimy is – opps, gotta run.


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